#16 Behind the Curtain with Sarkis Bakalyan; Acting, Fitness, and Staying Positive

Join Shayla Tharp as she chats with actor/comedian/filmmaker Sarkis Bakalyan in a candid conversation about his remarkable journey in the entertainment industry. From his early love for acting to the tough realities of depression and discrimination, Sarkis shares his secrets for positive thinking! They also chat about their fitness routines, recent European escapades, and, of course, their mutual love for Bruce Willis. Expect plenty of laughs and some serious inspiration as they explore the rollercoaster of the acting world

And just a heads-up—there’s a bit of a technical glitch in the last half hour, but trust us, the conversation is worth it! Thanks for sticking with us.

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Shayla - @shaylatharp_
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Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 2:58 Journey in Acting
• 9:58 Dealing with Lulls in the Industry
• 23:53 Overcoming Hurdles
• 25:17 Struggling with Depression
• 26:35 Finding Strength in Prayer and Writing
• 27:30 The Power of Exercising
• 28:10 Focusing on What you Can Control
• 30:26 Support System
• 31:20 Believing in Oneself
• 34:03 Practicing Your Craft
• 37:09 Rapid Fire Questions

Transcript

Shay (00:00)
All right. Hi everyone. This is Shayla Tharp and you're listening to Having a Laugh. Today we have Sarkis Bakalyan. It doesn't matter how long I've known you. It's just, it's going to be a toughie. You recently starred in a feature film, Pride Jewel, and you've been on an episode NCIS. I just saw you in a recent commercial. But most importantly, we met at CSUN.

Sarkis Bakalyan (00:08)
you go.

Shay (00:25)
and did a few shows together. Welcome. I'm so excited to see you.

Sarkis Bakalyan (00:27)
That's right.

Thank you for having me. It's been such, how long has it been? my gosh. Yeah, since 2016, right?

Shay (00:34)
Like eight years. Maybe longer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I know, I've been so like, just proud of you, watching your journey from afar. I'm loving it. Like, you are just killing it. I'm proud of you. And what was your recent commercial for?

Sarkis Bakalyan (00:42)
Dang. But it's so good to see you, my gosh.

Aww, thank you.

And it was for a Best Buy.

Shay (00:59)
Right, and you killed it. absolutely, I was like, that's perfect. I believe him.

Sarkis Bakalyan (01:05)
Yeah, it's very like, like down to earth kind of playing, you know, we were just playing gamers. So that's what it is.

Shay (01:11)
Yeah. Yeah. And how did you come upon that? Did you, do you have an agent? Yeah.

Sarkis Bakalyan (01:17)
I do. I actually had, man, it was crazy. Last year I had five agents and I had, it was a lot. I didn't know you can do that, but apparently I had one for like each department. And then, and then I found out that there were some conflicts between other agents. So I had to like cut them loose and all that stuff. So it was, it was a lot of, yeah, it was overwhelming with all the auditions coming in.

Shay (01:24)
my... You can do that?

Ha ha ha!

Okay, yeah.

Mmm.

Everyone wants a piece of you. But that's awesome. So you're getting some work and are you still based in LA? nice. And how has it been for you with all the strikes and all that?

Sarkis Bakalyan (01:49)
Yeah.

Yes.

Luckily not as bad because I'm still not union. yeah, so the strikes were going on. I still showed my support, when there was work, I had work, so which was nice.

Shay (02:02)
Okay.

that Best Buy commercial wasn't Union? That's crazy!

Sarkis Bakalyan (02:15)
Yeah, it was non -union. Even though they had like a crazy budget, like they had a cinematographer that was like an Emmy winner. I was like so impressed with like everybody that was on staff. It was crazy.

Shay (02:20)
I was gonna say.

That is so cool. I've really noticed that lately, that a lot of projects that would have probably been union before COVID are now non -union. And I struggle too, because I'm still not, like, not SAG. I've just been waiting and waiting and waiting.

Sarkis Bakalyan (02:39)
Yeah.

And realistically, there are more non -union jobs anyway. So it's like, should you join? I mean, it's up to you, but yeah.

Shay (02:51)
I don't know. Yeah, I don't know yet. Anyway, it is so nice to see you and basically you are my first like male guest. I know, right? I didn't even intend on doing that, but then I realized today I was like, he's going to be the first guy I'm talking to. I'm little nervous. Have you been on many podcasts before?

Sarkis Bakalyan (03:02)
What?

no, don't be.

Well, I used to be the podcast host for the Armenians podcast, but that was like during COVID times. And then I did Stephen's podcast, which was a lot of fun. I did that like a couple of times, but now I'm here. This is my third podcast.

Shay (03:24)
Mmm.

yeah!

nice. Yeah, Steve, I was on Stevens as well and he's the one that really got me. I was like, this is kind of fun. And you can just do what you want. Legendary. Yeah. so basically what we chat about here is like life, childhood, funny things, trauma, and acting all related in one. I'd like to know about kind of.

Sarkis Bakalyan (03:42)
Yeah.

Yeah, and it's chill. Legendary.

Mm

Shay (04:03)
your upbringing, what brought you to start acting? I mean, I don't know if people know, but you're like, just naturally hilarious. You are so funny. Like, what show were we in? Like, Parade or something? And I just, we were working tech and I was like, I love this man. I was like, everything you do is absolutely hysterical. It doesn't matter what you're doing. It's freaking funny.

Sarkis Bakalyan (04:05)
Mm -hmm.

Hahaha

Hahaha

I remember.

I remember there was that one video, I think you took it, where I bashed my back into the wall but it was like a loud thud and people were like, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, was that loud? Like I didn't know what the hell happened but I'm fine now.

Shay (04:33)
I need bash your... Yeah!

Yeah, you're like, I'm God, yeah, you're just hilarious. So where did that come from? And like, what were you doing as a child?

Sarkis Bakalyan (04:53)
I would say a lot of that stems from me being a schoolboy up until the seventh grade. That's what they would call me. I was the schoolboy. So I would like tuck in my shirt. I would wear that like Navy blue cardigan sweater. I had the rocket power rolly backpack, you know? I was that kid. I was awesome. But I would get teased a lot for it. And I figured, well, if I kind of rebel,

Shay (05:00)
Mm.

No.

Yeah.

Sarkis Bakalyan (05:21)
and start acting like a bad boy, maybe they'll respect me more, right? So in the seventh grade, that's when my rebellious era started. And then I started to do stuff for attention and started to make people laugh. And I was like, wait, I'm onto something here. Maybe I'll be the class clown. And that's where it kind of started. And then in the eighth grade, I discovered drama and I was like, I want to do this for the rest of my life. Perform, yeah.

Shay (05:25)
Mm -hmm.

Mmm.

Aww. And were your parents supportive? Yeah.

Sarkis Bakalyan (05:50)
At first, no, because they were like, what kind of life do actors have? Like, it's kind of, but then as I stuck to it, they were more open to it. So they're like, okay, I think if you feel like you're happy there, you should continue. Yeah.

Shay (05:54)
Mm -hmm.

That's great. So in eighth grade, that's a lot to think about already at that young age. Like, I don't know what I was thinking, but I, yeah, it's hard to figure out your place, I guess. Did you feel natural as a class clown?

Sarkis Bakalyan (06:24)
First, no. I had to get acquainted with the people in my class. And the more I knew who they were, more I was like, hey, they're my friends. I could play around with them, right? So during tests, would be dead quiet, and I would make a stupid sound like, meh. And then the teacher would be like, who the heck was that? And the teacher would give detention to a random classmate that didn't make a sound. And so I was like,

Shay (06:25)
Really?

Mm.

Sarkis Bakalyan (06:54)
I'm sorry dude, but yeah.

Shay (06:56)
And so then did you in eighth grade start like drama classes or like do you have theater then or where were you growing up first of all? Where was this?

Sarkis Bakalyan (07:06)
This was all in LA. I was based in Hollywood at the time and I went to John Burroughs Middle School and then transitioning to high school, I didn't really start theater until maybe, I want to say sophomore or junior year, because again, the first year I'm still kind of getting acquainted. I'm a freshman. I'm like the new bed, everything. But then I discovered my mentor there, Scott Riden.

Shay (07:09)
Okay.

Sarkis Bakalyan (07:35)
very very lovely human being and he taught me everything I know about acting there so but yeah and in my senior year I was like as part of like all the theater plays and all that stuff I was in a musical for the first time I was like I was like it was called quack which was the the musical version of Moliere's the Doctor in spite of himself it was it was a lot of fun and yeah I'll never forget the experience

Shay (07:51)
What one?

gosh.

Okay.

That's awesome. I think then you probably got the bug and where did you go? Did you go straight to Cal State after high school?

Sarkis Bakalyan (08:14)
No, it was Los Angeles Valley College and then I transferred to Cal State Northridge. I figured it was just easier, know, just get all the credits I needed first, get all the general stuff out of the way so I could just focus on my craft and hone in on theater.

Shay (08:16)
Mm.

And what made you do that?

Yeah.

Wow. So you really had this kind of sketched and planned out since young age.

Sarkis Bakalyan (08:39)
For the most part, I would say, yeah.

Shay (08:42)
And are you happy that you kind of have done this or followed this path? nice! Good!

Sarkis Bakalyan (08:48)
Hell yeah, yeah. All the way through. mean, I'm not gonna lie and sit here and say like, it hasn't been tough through the years, of course, with entertainment, it can be tough sometimes not getting auditions, constantly getting rejected. you kind of develop a tough skin because of it. But after all, you're like, no, I belong here and I'm happy.

Shay (08:59)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, I tend to not feel, I feel out of place when it's not a theater area or filled with theater people. I'm like, I just don't know how to be outside of this industry. It's like, I just don't understand how to do it or why anyone would want to be out of it, even though it's absolutely insane.

Sarkis Bakalyan (09:27)
Right.

Yeah.

Yeah, I can't tell you how many dead end jobs I've done since graduating from Cal State Northridge. And I'm just like, what am I doing? Like, I should be doing what I love. And yeah, it's.

Shay (09:44)
huh.

Yeah, it's hard. Speaking of dead end jobs, what do you kind of do between lulls with your, I mean, jobs? It's hard. I don't want to be like, you get like one job a year or, know, but sometimes for many actors, that is how it is. You get like one gig a year. So then it's like, what do you do with the rest of the time?

Sarkis Bakalyan (09:53)
Ahem.

I try to focus on writing. write screenplays. I work with other actors, other directors. they kind of like... The crazy thing is I'm very fortunate to be surrounded by other filmmakers that want to constantly work. So they're always working on something and I'm always talking to them and we kind of keep in touch about like...

upcoming projects and they invite me over like, hey, you want to do this? You want to help me out on this? there is, I'm not going to say there isn't any like, you know, rest in between. there, there are gaps for sure, but in those gaps, I definitely try to practice my craft as much as possible. Even though like I don't really have a nine to five job, I'll admit, but filmmaking is

Filmmaking and entertainment is where I'm at like full time right now. So yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Shay (11:06)
That's amazing. Good for you. Good for you. I had one guest on here that said, you know, she was like, she would use her like regular people job to work on filmmaking and stuff. She was like, even though I'm there, I'm writing scripts. I'm doing something else. Like I may be serving you a coffee, but I am working on being creative. And I was like, I love that. I just love that we do that. And I also think

Sarkis Bakalyan (11:21)
Mmm.

Shay (11:35)
She said something like, even if I do 10 minutes a day of writing, I'm successful at my craft today. And I was like, I absolutely love that. I love just how people surround themselves with creativity 24 seven. Like everyone should do it. I just love it. it been, I guess, an easy journey for you mental health wise? Like how has...

Sarkis Bakalyan (11:42)
Mm

Mm -hmm.

Absolutely.

Shay (12:05)
since let's say eighth grade, how has it been for you to go through an industry that's very judgmental and very harsh? What are some of the things that you kind of face?

Sarkis Bakalyan (12:17)
Well, as a kid, you don't really notice that too much. It wasn't until maybe my adulthood when I noticed those things. And there's a lot of discrimination involved for sure. I remember when I was in CSUN, one of the professors asked me like, hey, what have you been in? Have you done any like work on TV or film? And I said, I was in NCISLA and I won't name the professor's name, but they were like, you definitely played a terrorist, huh? And I'm just like,

Shay (12:25)
Mm

Sarkis Bakalyan (12:47)
How do I respond to that, you know? But that aside, I'm not gonna say it hasn't been tough for sure. It's been more tough during my adulthood, especially after like starting full -time, like only doing entertainment. It's like, it can be like treacherous, like trying to just.

Shay (12:47)
my god.

Yeah.

Sarkis Bakalyan (13:14)
navigate your way trying to figure out how you're going to be doing this only, only this. Because as you said, like there are long gaps in between jobs and you just got to, yeah, you just got to hope for the best and keep working at it.

Shay (13:19)
Yeah.

I can't believe that. I don't know who said that to you, but I just, I can believe it and I can't believe it. It's just, it comes with this industry. It's horrible. It's just horrible. And there's not much that can be said on it. I don't know that.

Sarkis Bakalyan (13:38)
Mm -hmm.

Shay (13:45)
man, how do you deal with someone like that? What do you remember saying to them?

Sarkis Bakalyan (13:51)
I just nodded and said, no, I didn't play a terrorist, but I did play a terrorist brother.

Shay (13:56)
Yeah.

Ha ha!

Sarkis Bakalyan (14:01)
The terrorists innocent brother. But anyway, but no, like I just I try to keep it light and it's not about getting back at somebody it's about just Trying to keep a positive energy around everyone even though some people might might come off rude or discriminatory you just got to keep it light and Pretend like everything's everything's honky -dory

Shay (14:03)
Yeah.

It sucks that that's the way it is, but you always do have a very positive attitude. I don't think I ever saw you. If I ever saw you in a bad mood, I knew it was a bad day. I was like, my God.

Sarkis Bakalyan (14:35)
You

yeah. But I try to always be positive, especially when the people around me are positive, like you guys, being around my friends, it was the best feeling ever. I can't complain about that, you know? Yeah.

Shay (14:43)
Yeah.

Yeah, it was pretty nice. Did you ever think you... How do I say this? Did you ever think you would be full -time doing creative stuff or did you think I'm gonna have to pick up a second job forever?

Sarkis Bakalyan (15:07)
yeah, no, I never thought I would be doing this full time. I thought I would have to always have a job. Cause like, it's tough man. Like right now it's kind of like a, like there's not much going on right now at the moment, but with the release of the commercial and Pancake Man soon coming out, we're kind of leading up to that. There's a lot of promotional stuff happening. But aside from that, it's just been auditions on top of auditions.

Shay (15:13)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

yes!

Sarkis Bakalyan (15:36)
doing a lot of voiceover stuff like yous. Yeah.

Shay (15:37)
was just gonna mention that you're doing like an animation, right?

Sarkis Bakalyan (15:42)
that that's been put on the back burner because of the strikes. We had, we did have a producer that was interested. Unfortunately, they backed out because of the strikes and they said, come back around after the strikes are over. We contacted them and they were like, yeah, we kinda don't want to continue with that anymore. we're like, we're, we're, we're on the search of pitching it to other people and places, but,

Shay (15:47)
yeah, okay.

Mm -hmm.

Ugh.

It looks really cool.

Sarkis Bakalyan (16:09)
Yeah, it's exciting. We just have to get it in the right hands. That's all. Yeah.

Shay (16:13)
Mm -hmm. And so you're doing a lot of voiceover then. So is that a big part of, I don't know, your revenue, I guess? I don't know what to call it. Like, is that most of your income? That's where most of mine comes from.

Sarkis Bakalyan (16:22)
Ha ha.

I would say mine mostly comes from TV and film. yeah. Like I just started getting into voiceover this April, I believe. That's, yeah, that's when I signed to an exclusive manager who's just doing voiceover. So, but yeah.

Shay (16:32)
Okay, good.

really?

Nice. Do you do more like cartoons or like straightforward narration?

Sarkis Bakalyan (16:52)
I do like, yeah, animation mostly. There have been some commercials, I will say. But as for narration, not a whole lot, I would say. thank you.

Shay (16:55)
Yeah.

Yeah, you have a very nice voice. Like, I think you would be quite good at audiobooks. definitely, you try, like, children's books. That would be good. That's fun.

Sarkis Bakalyan (17:11)
Yeah, that would be interesting. Yeah, I think I've heard some of your audio books, which are like, you're a natural.

Shay (17:19)
Thank you. Yeah, mine are always like very like spiritual and like we're talking about fairies and and Meditation and because I'm very calming but the downside to that is like sometimes I'll put myself to sleep I'm like and then

Sarkis Bakalyan (17:28)
Yeah

No.

But you got that British voice down, I will say.

Shay (17:42)
Thank you. It's spending time there. That's the only way. I mean, you visited there, so you know. Like, once you're surrounded by it, it's so much easier to learn than just learning by yourself. It took me a while.

Sarkis Bakalyan (17:46)
Yeah

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, and like picking up on the slang, it's a lot of fun. Like, I got to know what posh was. I was like, well, what do you mean by posh? What do you mean? Yeah.

Shay (18:02)
Ha ha!

What do mean? What do you mean silly? And you kind of did like a European tour recently, didn't you?

Sarkis Bakalyan (18:12)
I think that was last year. This year I only went to Paris. yeah. Yeah. I love it. Every time I go, I don't want to come back, honestly. And it's, you're surrounded by, I don't want to sound mean, but you're surrounded by more natural looking people. Whereas here, I mean, I'm in the.

Shay (18:17)
To me, that's reset. How was it?

I know, yeah.

Yeah.

Especially in LA. Yeah.

Sarkis Bakalyan (18:41)
LA, you're surrounded by like lip injections and Botox and God knows what. It's a lot. It does get crazy. over there, I'm just like, wow, even with a nose bump, you look beautiful. Like, what the hell? How do you do that?

Shay (18:44)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah, I mean, it was so refreshing to live there because going from LA to there, I was just like, like you guys just look normal. And like everyone on TV, like EastEnders, whatever they have, you know, they're soap operas. Everybody on there looks absolutely normal. And not in like, I came back here and I saw our soap operas and everyone looked like LA style. And I was like, what? Where are the real people?

Sarkis Bakalyan (19:03)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know.

Shay (19:24)
Come on! What was your favorite spot in Europe to go to?

Sarkis Bakalyan (19:31)
Ooh, this might be controversial. France impressed me a lot, I will say. I know a lot of people think like, really France? But the reason why is because before going, a lot of people told me that French people are snobby and they hate outsiders and tourists and all these things. But then when I went, they were some of the most hospitable people I've ever met. Like someone even like invited me over for tea.

Shay (19:33)
Ooh. Rage bait.

Really?

Mm -hmm.

Sarkis Bakalyan (20:00)
at their place and I was like, what? How does this happen? Like, yeah, I was very impressed with them.

Shay (20:03)
Aw. I had a French roommate, so I'm kind of like a connoisseur on all French things. But I will say she had some of the most interesting views on things. Like she was so easygoing and just like, they don't live to work over in France. They are living to have a good ass time. They want to just have a good time. And I'm like, we need to get on board with France right now.

Sarkis Bakalyan (20:11)
Hahaha

Mm

Yeah.

Yes, absolutely.

Shay (20:32)
They got it figured out and if they don't like stuff, they're gonna poop in the river. Yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, why aren't we like them? I just, they get stuff done. I've never been, I would love to go though. I was about to go before I moved back, but everyone that I've been talking to lately has actually really enjoyed the trip and I've been surprised by that. You're giving me hope. How was the food?

Sarkis Bakalyan (20:37)
The lesson, yeah, sure.

Yeah. yeah.

Mm

Yeah.

The food was fantastic. my God. The pastries especially. I probably gained 10 pounds, but we were walking it off every day. it's like you walk seven miles, you eat 5 ,000 calories. like.

Shay (21:02)
Yeah. Ugh.

Exactly. That's another thing is everyone just walks over there so everyone's quite thin,

Sarkis Bakalyan (21:17)
yeah.

Shay (21:18)
Unlike here.

Sarkis Bakalyan (21:19)
Hahaha

Shay (21:21)
Which is not like a bad thing, it's just because we have completely different system here. Everyone has a car.

Sarkis Bakalyan (21:27)
Yeah. And the ingredients that they put in corporate food.

Shay (21:31)
Yeah, I know. I know. You're quite a healthy guy, ain't ya? Yeah, no, I mean, you do, I guess, a lot of fitness. I don't know how to put that, but you're kind of into fitness. I remember you being quite fit in college and you're fit now. Like, what does fitness do for you or how does that play a part in, like, your life?

Sarkis Bakalyan (21:35)
thanks. I try.

It's difficult to answer this question without sounding like a complete douchebag, but I'm gonna try. I try to make a lot of homemade food. I try not to eat out as much. I tell myself every week I have to at least work out three times. Three days out of the week, just choose it and do like a really hard, high intensity workout. And there are weeks that I go off

Shay (22:01)
Do it.

Mm

Sarkis Bakalyan (22:26)
because of stuff that's going on, busy work. the thing about me is I'm never satisfied with myself. Like I always feel the need to improve. So like that's why I'm just so hard on myself to keep at it with the fitness and the healthy food and all these things. So I can't speak on behalf of other people, but for me, it's just like, I'm very OCD oriented.

Shay (22:55)
Mm

Sarkis Bakalyan (22:56)
So that's where I come in. That's where I come from.

Shay (22:59)
Do you think any of that has to do with the pressure from the industry to look a certain type of way?

Sarkis Bakalyan (23:07)
Part of it, yes. But also from a very young age, I was very specific with how I wanted things. And so even with the industry being tough on its artists, I do think there is an obligation for us as people to just be the best possible version of us. So yeah, that's my perspective on it.

Shay (23:15)
Mm.

Mm

Do you think that it's something that helps you mentally? Because for me, even if it's just going outside for a walk for like 10 minutes and I'm not even trying to raise my heart rate, I already feel better. And I'm like, man, it does help. Yeah.

Sarkis Bakalyan (23:48)
Yeah, absolutely. yeah, for sure. Especially when it's like a, like you feel like some sort of negative energy inside and you use that high intensity workout to just get it all out. You're like, I feel so, so relieved at the end of it because not only do you feel a sense of achievement because you're like, wow, I did a hard workout, but at the same time you're like, I'm no longer stressed. I feel good. Yeah.

Shay (24:02)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Yeah, it gives me hope for like another day. I'll hang on another 24 hours. So what are some of like your, I guess, biggest hurdles that you've had since being in this industry? You know, whether it be discrimination related or like just a physical challenge. What are some things that you've been like roadblocked by?

Sarkis Bakalyan (24:19)
Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Hmm, that's a good question. I would say, I think I mentioned it before, but after I quit my last day job, which was working at an elementary school, I was a paraprofessional educator and I left and afterwards, because I couldn't really find another day job, I was like, is this it? Like, am I gonna like...

be depressed forever. I thought I thought I was like it was over.

Shay (25:14)
This is it.

Shayla Tharp (25:17)
All right. Cool. Cool. so sorry you got interrupted. when I spliced this together later, it'll probably be a nightmare, but I do apologize, that you were telling your life story and got cut off. It is all good. But two years ago, this is when you hit the kind of

depression wall. And I can quite relate with that because that was, I mean, I'm still dealing with it, but last year, that's the position I was in. So what is something you did to help yourself out of that? For me, I'm a pretty religious person. So I prayed a lot. Another thing I really focused on was

Well, it really helps me, but I tend to write a lot as well, like creative writing, whether it's through screenwriting or poetry, I write a lot of poems. That kind of, like whatever I'm feeling in that moment, I try to put it down on paper or in my phone's notepad as like some poetic way of understanding how I'm feeling. So yeah, I have a...

I have a bunch of poems in my notepad and every time I look back I'm like, damn, I was feeling that bad, huh? It's crazy. my goodness. But that helps out a lot for sure. Also exercising like we mentioned before. Definitely get it all out, just get all that stress out. But yeah, I'm curious, what do you do? Well, I'm still into the thick of it. So into the thick of it, but I...

What's really helping me is I'm trying to do the thing on my Apple Watch where I close all my rings. And I know it's like, I don't know if it's silly. mean, people do it. But like for me, I was like, that's just silly, just closing my rings. But like literally, it's been every day I just focus on getting 40 minutes worth of activity. I don't care if it's like 10 minutes of walking, five minutes of doing a little ab exercise.

Five minutes of yoga. Like as long as I get 40 minutes a day of being somewhat active or something moving around, I'm feeling a lot better. And I was like, dang, this actually works. I was like, I gotta do it now. And it's really been the only thing that's helped me lately. And then also just continuing to do my voiceover work and really

put some effort into the podcast and just like try to focus on things I can control instead of trying to control the things that are out of my control to just kind of focus in on what I can do with what I have and just go touch some grass. That's nice. Yeah, I mean, it's all you can really do. I don't know what else.

It's just been slow going. Like I've been in depressive holes before, but like this one, I was like out for like a year. Just how long were you down for the count? I think, yeah, it was about a year. since I want to say May of 2022 until. Yeah. Approximately May of 2023. That's when my, yeah. I was just.

in a rut, like, and the, I don't want to go down as like, I don't want to make a story longer than it needs to be, but like, I was so depressed to the point of like breaking up with my girlfriend at the time. Cause I was like, I don't want to have you go through this. Like you're, you deserve better than this. You don't deserve me. I, that's how bad I felt about myself. I was like, I'm a piece of crap. Like, yeah, I was like, you deserve better. You should just move on and

Yeah. Well, glad you didn't do that because you are so much more than a piece of crap. Well, I appreciate it. Thank you. And how are you feeling now? Like, do you feel like you've got over that hurdle then? Like, do you feel like that's behind you or how are you? I would say most of it is behind me. I had to retrain my brain to think in a very certain way. And what I mean by that is if something doesn't go

according to plan or doesn't go my way, I know it's gonna happen eventually or it's gonna happen in a different way. It's somewhat, in a sense, it's like manifesting your destiny, like believing in it wholeheartedly. And of course you have to get over that hurdle before you can start believing, of course, but having a huge support system behind me, my family, my friends,

They really help out a lot too. it's like they're the ones cheering for me to succeed. So it's nice. That's awesome. I'm so happy for you. Thank you. It's so nice to see you just like jump in full force and believe in your support system, believe in you and your projects. just, I mean, that's another thing about going full time is you have to fully believe in yourself that you can be full time at this.

And I'm just proud of you for seeing your worth. Thank you. And I'm proud of you for doing all the work you've done and doing this. Like a podcast is a big deal. It's I will say it's it's difficult, but it's fun. But it's like it's putting all those creative things that I want to do, but don't have access to right now.

It's something I can control. It's something I can put my own flair on and talk about what I want to talk about. So it's quite freeing and lovely, but yeah, it's a lot. It's, work and, it is fun. And I hope someday that I'll be able to make some money off of it. So then I could be more fun. We'll have a budget. Well, thank you for being so like vulnerable here. Like, you know, I'm really happy to.

just have someone come in and say how they feel.

Like if you have some advice to give people in your position, like younger males in this industry, or if people are suffering with their mental health, like can you give any people, anyone advice on like.

how to just keep going or what you do to help propel you. mean, I don't really know the kind of point of view from a male perspective in the industry, I have to admit. I selfishly am just always like thinking about girls' perspective. So I don't know truly like what are you guys dealing with, struggling with? What would you tell people, I guess,

I would say don't let anybody tell you who you are. Keep doing what you believe in. I remember when I was in college, this was at Valley College, I was working at the business office and one of my colleagues asked me what my major was. And I said theater arts. And they were like, do you have a backup plan? Straight up like that. I'm like, no.

I don't have a backup plan. Like that's how much I believed in myself. And I still believe in myself regarding entertainment and what I want to do. Like I wouldn't be in the position that I am today if I didn't continue doing what I love. And so I'm very fortunate because I not only am I supported by

great people, great family, friends, but also great filmmakers that boost me up. But also I would highly recommend everybody. think Jessica Chastain said this, try to practice your craft every day. Doesn't matter what it is. It could be pretending to be in a scene, know, look in the mirror, try to do a monologue with yourself, maybe write down a scene.

write a script, know, try practicing writing a script. Anything that pertains to entertainment and if you want to keep at it, it keeps that goal in mind and it also, you know, pushes you to want to keep doing it more. And so it definitely, it's a focus that you got to keep in mind, but yeah, every day try to practice your craft, I would say.

Even the smallest way possible. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a very smart suggestion. Thank you. I appreciate you. Now, before I do rapid fire questions, I would like to ask you about your most recent thing that you posted about your project where you look like a badass. Not that you don't all the time, but like.

What one's that called? When's it gonna be out? Tell me more about it. Yeah, not sure when this is gonna release, but Pancake Man is a new feature film that I was very fortunate to be a part of where I play a punk. I play a clumsy punk criminal trying to join a gang called the Destroyers. And I'm part of a Bonnie and Clyde duo. So there is another punk girlfriend that I get to be.

a part I get to play alongside, played by the perfect and awesome Katie Palacio. And it will be released. There will be a premiere happening on August 18th. Red Carpet event. If you're in the SoCal area, Long Beach, I can send you the link if you want, maybe share it. I think if you Google search Eventbrite Pancake Man premiere, you'll probably find it. But

Yeah, it's exciting and it's the latest feature that I worked on. We actually wrapped it back in March. So to see that quick turnaround of editing and all that stuff post, it's pretty impressive. So props to Bron there and the director. looks really nice and it sounds like that's like a perfect character for you. Did you get to beat anyone up?

Not me. I didn't get to beat anybody up, but did you beat up? Maybe I don't want to spoil anything. There's a lot of blood involved. It's it's it's that hard R rating. So OK. Yeah. Hard R got you hard R. All right. Well, you've survived. Let's get to the rapid fire questions. And sorry, I am.

I do really appreciate you being so like vulnerable and honest. don't mean to... If I laugh at anything, I swear I'm just... I'm a funny gal. Yeah, you are. You're awesome. All right. And you can go into as much detail as you want about these or you can just skim on through. first question. What's something people get wrong about you? That I'm mean. I am not a mean person. Yeah, in high school.

my locker mate, my neighbor, every time they would come over to me, they would like look at me in a certain way. I'm like, what's wrong? Like, why are you, are you afraid of me? And he's like, I don't know, you just seem like a mean person. I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm in fact the opposite. So if anything, I try to be as nice as possible. Respect is the golden rule. Doesn't matter who or what anybody believes in. If you're a human being,

You got a place in my heart. So, you know, I just love you. What is your guilty? What is your guilty pleasure TV show? you know, last night I was watching Your Honor with Bryan Cranston. how is it? It's not bad. I was I was quite impressed. It's like it's almost like Bryan Cranston's second Breaking Bad show. Really? saw my mom watching it. It looked kind of cool, but I was like, I don't know what's happening. Yeah, it's interesting.

I yeah, no, I don't want to spoil anything, but yeah, it's good so far. I finished season one. I feel like I could watch him do anything, though. yeah. Brian Cranston is awesome. Yeah. But my favorite show of all time has to be Fringe. I don't know if you've ever heard of it. Yeah. A of people haven't heard of it. It's a sci fi like procedural. But I freaking love that show so much. Also, The Americans, if you love. Yeah. yeah. Espionage. I love that show. Yeah. yes.

Yeah, you do like, yeah, you're on an espionage theme. Yeah, the show. What was your favorite childhood movie? It's got to be a toss up between Lion King and Ace Ventura. my God. Everyone I've had on here said Lion King. But have they said Ace Ventura? No. And you that's what I'm saying. This is why we need the male perspective. Yeah, I think. Sure. my God. I think a lot of.

my childhood was just seeing Jim Carrey on screen, which was, which might've inspired me to want to pursue comedy as well. I love the physical comedy he does. And he's just, he's brilliant. I love Jim Carrey. Yeah. Did you see the documentary, the Andy and, and me, Andy, I don't know what it was called actually, but it's the one where he's playing Andy Kaufman. Yeah. Yeah. And he was just wild as hell. Yeah. He was like,

All in character, right? Like he didn't come out the whole time. my gosh. Can you imagine? I know. And he was like driving the car into like the studio. was just like, my God. And he's he only he could get away with that. yeah. I just love him. What was your last Google search? what was my left? I think I think it was I was looking up the schedule of the

Greco -Roman wrestling like of the Olympics because I was like there's an Armenian that's competing I need to see when they're going on but a lot of the American channels don't show the fights which is I'm sad about but anyway that's the last thing probably. Yeah that's a good one. What what's your karaoke song your go -to karaoke song?

Last time I did karaoke was, me with your best shot, a fire away. That's so good. That's a perfect one. I like that one. But I'd probably go with the final countdown. But I'm going to go with final countdown. Yeah. It's the final countdown. Hell yeah. Love that. Any regrets? Any regrets?

Maybe my past version of me would have said yes, but now I can't afford to live off of regrets. if you say past version, do you mean like the one before your depressive state or do you mean just like. Yeah, yeah, definitely the one in my depressive state and before. So like after that, I was like. Just live the best version of yourself, don't regret anything.

And if you feel like you've made a bad decision, you have to live with it. But ultimately you have to just be the kindest, respectful person you can be and everyone will be on board with you. That's all I can say. I love the growth. We love to see it. Favorite celebrity you've ever encountered. You'll appreciate this. I have it.

Right here, I took it out just for you. No, my most my most recent or I should say my most memorable celebrity encounter is Bruce Willis. I have to leave. I'm so excited. And in 2015, I got to go see him on Broadway. Do this misery with Laurie Metcalf and I and I know how much you love her.

I got his autograph here on this playbill. You can see it. my God. I wanted to go see that so bad. It lived up to the hype so much. I loved it. And just seeing him in person, I was like, my God, this is Bruce Willis And I remember telling him like, it was pretty funny, but I was like, hey, happy holidays, Bruce Willis. And he's like, huh.

He just kept going and signing along. And then I remember him going into the street. This is so Bruce Willis. He just went into in the middle of the street and he's just like, he just screams. He gets into his SUV and they drive off like, what the hell? But that's so Bruce. I love it. my God. I am so jealous of you right now. That would have been I wanted to see that so bad. I was ready to like,

I'm so jelly. And I'm so sad that like what he's going through at the moment, like he's one of my favorites. I literally so yesterday when I was getting my so I had to get my teeth shaved because I'm getting those crowns put in anyway, the whole time they were like, OK, well, what do you want to watch? And I said they have a new Bruce Willis movie on Netflix. Can you change it to that? And they're like, yeah.

So funny that you bring that up because I just was having a moment. Yeah. And I just saw Laurie a couple of weeks ago at Steppenwolf in Chicago. No way. Show here. Yeah. And it was. And how is that? Wonderful. I just think she's amazing. She is. She's amazing. She's awesome. jelly. All right. Anyway, sorry. But thank you for digging that out.

Yeah, I had to just for you that forever. You should be framing that. I got excited. What is your favorite hobby? writing nowadays, I feel like, especially now. In my into my adulthood, in the past, I would have probably said video games, movies. I mean, I do love watching movies and playing video games and TV shows and all that stuff. But nowadays, I feel like.

I'm in that phase of just collecting as much wisdom as possible and at the same time trying to implement that wisdom in the form of creative writing and just conveying how I feel internally in a way of understanding everything. It's just, if that makes sense, I don't know. that's like so beautifully put. think that's, you would sound like you would be like a good teacher as well. wanting to pass on the wisdom. Thank you.

Yeah. Have you ever thought about teaching? I've been told, but I think you would be obviously a wise choice. You would be like the fun class clown, but also serious, but also you would take everyone's feelings into account and, you're wise. Yeah. I think you would just be, that'd be great for you eventually if you want. thank you. I appreciate that. finally, what song do you have on repeat lately? Ooh, that's a good question.

Give us a good one. I will say Eminem's latest album has been on repeat. I really like it. It came on yesterday in the dentist office and I was like, the death of Slim Shady. I'm a huge Eminem fan. I think he's probably the greatest rapper alive right now. Definitely the greatest rapper alive right now. But my all time favorite rapper is Tupac. That's that's my personal favorite. But yeah.

Do you have any feelings right now about them coming out with like the P Diddy killed Tupac and like, I don't really understand it. I'm just a bystander, but I'm watching it all. The drama go down. Yeah, I need to know. I I honestly believe it happened because there was a witness that came forward. think his name was. Hey, was this I think I'm going to mention in a song to now. I think that's why it came out and I was like, huh? Yeah, he mentioned about it.

He mentioned Keefe D and there was like a whole investigation that went into like, And I think Keefe D was present in the moment of Tupac shooting. Yeah, I think he was like near the person that shot him and that person who shot him apparently is dead so they can't really question him. There's a whole like, like rabbit hole I went down. Yeah, it's pretty interesting but.

He should be alive today. It's unfortunate what happened to him and Biggie. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being here and spreading your wisdom. You survived. And please come back any time because I really love chatting with you. And I just I really love seeing the growth that you've made. And I love seeing your journey and acting and all the commercials. And I'm just proud of you. And I'm I'm loving the wisdom. I'm grateful for you having me here and

I will always, always, don't ever hesitate to reach out. I will gladly talk to you about anything. Just feel free. You're awesome. No, you're awesome. Stop it. Stop it.